"I talk to him when I'm lonesome like,and I'm sure he understands.When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; Then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat, For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that!"
"There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog."
"When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion; but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism!"
"I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward."
"If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise."
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
"The dog is the only animal that has seen his god."
"With the exception of women, there is nothing on earth so agreeable or necessary to the comfort of man as the dog."
"A dog is not "almost human" and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such."
"The poor dog, in life the firmest friend, the first to welcome, foremost to defend."
"Dogs, the foremost snobs in creation, are quick to notice the difference between a well-clad and a disreputable stranger."
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."
"The dog wags his tail, not for you, but for your bread."
"Near this spot are deposited the remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity, and all the Virtues of Man, without his Vices. This Praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery if inscribed over human ashes, is but a just tribute to the Memory of Boatswain, a Dog."
"Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on."
"The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor."
"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive."
"If you can look at a dog and not feel vicarious excitement and affection, you must be a cat."
"Liberals are like dogs: The liberal holds that he is true to the republic when he is true to himself. (It may not be as cozy an attitude as it sounds.) He greets with enthusiasm the fact of the journey, as a dog greets a man's invitation to take a walk. And he acts in the dog's way too, swinging wide, racing ahead, doubling back, covering many miles of territory that the man never traverses, all in the spirit of inquiry and the zest for truth. He leaves a crazy trail, but he ranges far beyond the genteel old party he walks with and he is usually in a better position to discover a skunk."
"When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten."
"The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath."
"There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog."
"I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons."
"The dog is a yes-animal, very popular with people who can't afford to keep a yes-man."
"The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic."
"I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better. They fight for honor at the first challenge, make love with no moral restraint, and they do not for all their marvelous instincts appear to know about death. Being such wonderfully uncomplicated beings, they need us to do their worrying."
"I like a bit of mongrel myself, whether it's a man or a dog; they're the best for everyday."
"The reason dogs have so many friends is because they wag their tails instead of their tongues."
"Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend."
"You ask of my companions. Hills, sir, and the sundown, and a dog as large as myself that my father bought me. They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell."
"Dogs look up to you. Cats look down on you. Give me a pig. He just looks you in the eye and treats you like an equal."
"My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am."
"The more one gets to know of men, the more one values dogs."
"Recollect that the Almighty, who gave the dog to be companion of our pleasures and our toils, hath invested him with a nature noble and incapable of deceit."
"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."
"Life is like a dog sled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes."
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
"Money will buy a pretty good dog but it won't buy the wag of his tail."
"What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog."
"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made."
"Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland."
"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue."
"If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man."
"In the world which we know, among the different and primitive geniuses that preside over the evolution of the several species, there exists not one, excepting that of the dog, that ever gave a thought to the presence of man."
"No man can be condemed for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has."
"You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!"
"The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself, too."
"If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one."
"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog."
"If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around."
"Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other."
"Both humans and dogs love to play well into adulthood, and individuals from both species occasionally display evidence of having a conscience."
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
"The disposition of noble dogs is to be gentle with people they know and the opposite with those they don't know...How, then, can the dog be anything other than a lover of learning since it defines what's its own and what's alien."
"A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk."
"A dog's best friend is his illiteracy."
"If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people."
"One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why."
"No philosophers so thoroughly comprehend us as dogs and horses."
"Fox-terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs."
"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."
"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's."
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."
"Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window."
"The greatest love is a mother's; then a dog's; then a sweetheart's."
"A dog is the only thing on earth that will love you more than you love yourself."
"The more I see of man, the more I like dogs."
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
"Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails."
"Happiness is a warm puppy."
"Dogs are miracles with paws."
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend:and inside a dog, it's too dark to read."
"From the dog's point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog."
"The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog."
"When a dog wants to hang out the "Do Not Disturb" sign, as all of us do now and then, he is regarded as a traitor to his species."
"To err is human:To forgive, canine."
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
"Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really."
"Children are for people who can't have dogs."
"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater... suggest that he wear a tail."
"Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage."
"Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job."
"A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours."
"To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace."
"Reverence: the spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man."
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
"The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go."
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives."
"If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them."
"A dog is not almost human, and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such."
"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies,quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate."
"Labradors [are] lousy watchdogs. They usually bark when there is a stranger about, but it is an expression of unmitigated joy at the chance to meet somebody new, not a warning."
"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."
"The more I see of the representatives of the people the more I admire my dogs."
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
"Animals are such agreeable friends"
"We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment."
"I named my dog Stay so I can say, "Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay.""
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
"They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation."
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
"Man is a dog's ideal of what God should be."
"The dog was created specially for children. He is a god of frolic."
"Dogs have more love than integrity. They've been true to us, yes, but they haven't been true to themselves."
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies."
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
"Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat."
"My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet."
"A man may smile and bid you hail Yet wish you to the devil; But when a good dog wags his tail, You know he's on the level."
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear a tail."
"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us."
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself."
"If you can't decide between a Shepherd, a Setter or a Poodle, get them all ... adopt a mutt!"
"The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother - and they'll settle for a puppy every time."